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Nov. 13th, 2014 | 12:21 am
I miss you.
But I will never find the same solace writing to you as I did before. you've been with me since 2001, that's longer that most people I know who blog. I fear we probably have departed and no longer have the same relationship. It now feels kind of strange that, when I had something to complain about, or needed a listening ear, I turned to you before I turned to an actual person. It is also sad almost everyone on my friend's list has stopped blogging over the years. When I would finish a mixtape or finish a song, the first place I would post it, was here, not myspace or archive.org.
So just a little update.
I'm back in the same job during the 2010-2012 period. I got re-employed because they wanted me back, even though it was a pathetic raise and not what I had expected. I quit working in an events company and then entered a new job in 2013 but left shortly. I took a long break and spent some time in Australia with my uncle and aunt (last December). It was the most rewarding experience that entire year. I left that new job (2013) because it was crossing into my ethical boundaries. I did not feel good about myself nor the way I had to deal with and treat people.
At the moment, I have an other halve (obviously a girl) who has made me a happier person, in this epically mundane life. You know, every time I'm working, routines always kill my good mood. My sister just gave birth to another daughter recently in the UK. 2 of my good friends just got married not too long ago.
I am staying with my mother right now. I like it here, but I also like it at my grandma's. I love music a lot, but I'm starting to not like it now, if you know what I mean. I've been contemplating about a lot of things, but I suppose I have to accept what I am, and this life. And just stop complaining in general. At the age of 30, I am still an aging youth at heart, but I've been doing things in moderation ( as much as I like to believe) these days, not in excess.
I haven’t been reading much lately, but I still enjoy topics like new atheism, am still very much interested in new age spirituality, conspiracy theories, aliens and what not. I am still hooked onto documentaries. I still love gaming a lot, but my PS3 has been down, I just can’t be bothered to get it repaired; I think gaming is no longer an actual hobby.
And me, being the “extroverted introvert”, am pretty sick of the usual small talk people have. I like discussing interesting topics. The thought of meeting new people does not excite me so much as before. Or rather, very few people interest or intrigue me. I suppose the feeling is mutual in most cases. I am not quite the sociable creature as I once was, and I see no need to fit in.
Often loud noises and crowded places seem to drain the life out of me; maybe it’s a symptom of working in a job with extreme audio-visual stimuli/sensory overload. I remember how I used to just want to “cave in” at home during my days off, because talking to people just made me treasure alone time. But it’s different now. I’m having a lot of peace and quiet now typing this, and I love this.
Right now, I am dying for a proper JUMBO black pepper crab and a Kit-Kat white. I don't order macdonald's as much now, opting instead to have an early dinner during work (usually fried mee with egg and one other dish) that is, if I am not going out for dinner. I’ve also been drinking more wine lately but having fewer hangovers.
my eyes are closing, because I am tired.